How Addiction Can Affect Your Relationships

Substance abuse is one of the biggest health issues the United States faces today. In 2021, the number of fatal drug overdoses caused by opioids alone was six times what it was in 1999, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).

In addition to the millions of people with drug or alcohol addiction in America today, their families, friends, partners, and coworkers also experience addiction’s effects.

Addiction and the changes it causes in the brain can wreak havoc on relationships, causing distrust, miscommunication, neglect, and more. However, this doesn’t mean that relationships affected by addiction cannot be repaired.

Addiction And Relationships: Common Issues

A substance use disorder (SUD) is commonly identified by a person’s inability to control their use of alcohol or drugs, including prescription drugs as well as illicit drugs. This often involves being unable to stop using the substance or use less of it.

As addiction progresses, it tends to affect every aspect of a person’s life, including their relationships.

Relationships affected by drug addiction can include:

• immediate family (i.e., parents, children, partners, siblings)
• extended family (i.e., cousins, uncles, grandparents)
• coworkers
• friends
• companion animals

Though the severity of someone’s SUD may determine how much relationships are affected, it’s rare when drug abuse doesn’t affect key relationships in a person’s life. The following highlight specific ways in which relationships may be affected by addiction.

Trust Issues

With addiction, drugs or alcohol become the person’s main focus, including obtaining these substances, using them, and recovering from their use.

Trust is a key component in all relationships. People with addiction may abuse trust by lying to their loved ones, employers, friends, or others in order to procure substances, cover up their substance use, make time for substance use, etc.

Someone with a drug or alcohol issue may lie about:

• the extent of their substance use
• not being under the influence of a substance
• why they’re asking for money or their overall financial situation
• time they spent using drugs or alcohol
• needing time off or away from work or partner obligations

When a person discovers they were lied to, it creates mistrust and a rift in the relationship. Being lied to repeatedly can create further damage to the relationship, sometimes even severing it.

Communication Problems

Poor communication, including a lack of communication, is the cause of many rifts between partners, employees, and family members. Addiction tends to cause difficulty concentrating, mood swings, agitation, or other symptoms that make communicating difficult.

Drug abuse and alcohol abuse can also bring to the surface unresolved fears, insecurities, or trauma. When in an extreme state, someone may say hurtful, inappropriate, or rude things to those around them.

A loved one witnessing this emotional rollercoaster may be left on edge, confused, or hurt. They may feel that what they have to say is not being received and that their needs are not being met.

Financial Strain

Drugs, whether legal or illegal, and including alcohol, can become very costly when consumed in large amounts or at a high rate. People with an SUD often continue to abuse substances even when they can’t financially afford to. This may lead to financial strain for the person, which can in turn affect their work, family, and other relationships, not to mention their overall health and well-being.

Neglect

As drugs or alcohol continue to take priority, neglect may become an issue related to addiction and relationships.

Neglect may manifest as the following:

• missing important family functions
• ignoring calls, texts, or emails
• constantly canceling plans
• avoiding time with loved ones
• not making an effort to maintain relationships

Amid drug or alcohol addiction, the person may prioritize using substances over spending time with loved ones. This can make a partner, family member, or child feel unloved.

Codependency

Loved ones of a person facing addiction may wish to help by providing money when asked or offering a rent-free place to live. While this may come from a good place, it can lead to enabling the person’s addiction.

Over time, enabling can develop into codependency, where one person in the relationship needs extra support, and the other person picks up the slack. This unhealthy balance can lead to burnout and feelings of resentment.

Intimacy Or Infidelity Issues

Drug and alcohol addiction often affect a person’s sex drive. For example, methamphetamine addiction may cause an increased libido. This may lead to constantly turning to pornography or even to an extramarital affair. In contrast, opioids and other drugs that act as depressants tend to diminish sex drive, which can have a negative effect on a couple’s intimacy and lead to distant feelings.

Mending Relationships In Addiction Recovery

The negative effects of addiction on relationships don’t have to be lasting. In recovery, people with SUDs gain the tools and skills they need to stop using drugs or alcohol, cope in healthy ways with stress, and begin rebuilding broken relationships.

Professional addiction care often also involves support for family members and other loved ones, which contributes not only to healthy relationships but also to the loved one’s lasting recovery, according to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA).

Professional Addiction Treatment Programs

The best way to overcome an addiction, and therefore start the road to a fixed relationship, is to seek professional substance abuse treatment.

Treatment programs for drug or alcohol addiction include:

• inpatient and residential treatment programs
• partial hospitalization programs (PHP)/day treatment
• intensive outpatient programs (IOP)
• standard outpatient programs

Inpatient and residential programs, or “live-in” programs, provide safe, structured, substance-free environments for people with moderate to severe SUDs to address their addictions. Outpatient programs, including PHPs, allow clients to continue living at home but involve various set amounts of hours per week spent in treatment.

Through formal addiction treatment programs, clients may engage in a variety of evidence-based treatment options, including one-on-one therapy and group therapy. Family therapy or psychoeducation sessions involve family members to help address the damage to family relationships caused by addiction. Peer support, through Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), and other popular groups, is also typically an element of addiction treatment programs.

Peer Support Groups

Peer support groups like AA, NA, and Al-Anon are also available separately from professional addiction care. These groups help people with substance abuse issues or their loved ones find peace and support through regular meetings, which are often free to attend.

AA and NA ask members to engage in a spiritual journey to recover from substance abuse, which involves surrendering to a higher power of their choice and working the 12 steps. These groups are made up of peers experiencing similar issues and are peer-led, typically not involving licensed addiction treatment professionals. Al-Anon is similar, but for people with loved ones facing alcohol addiction.

There are also secular groups for people seeking peer support in a group format that isn’t faith-based, such as SMART Recovery.

When A Loved One Refuses To Seek Addiction Recovery

Lasting sobriety and mended relationships are possible with help. However, people with addiction may not be ready to seek help, or even to admit that they need it.

The following are ideas to consider when encouraging a loved one to get the care they need.

Educate Yourself

Before starting a conversation with your loved one, do some research on substance use disorders so that you can come from a place of better understanding what they may be experiencing.

Be Supportive And Specific

Choose a time when your loved one isn’t under the influence to ask if they have a few minutes to discuss something important. Let them know that you love them and want what’s best for them and are concerned about their behavior and health. Be ready with specific instances where your loved one put their own and/or someone else’s safety at risk, lied, didn’t show up, etc. Be sure to allow plenty of space in the conversation for them to talk and ask you questions as well.

Set Boundaries

Many people struggle to keep healthy boundaries with a loved one facing addiction, especially as a parent, partner, or child. However, setting clear and purposeful boundaries can help people understand the severity of their addiction and may even spark change.

Examples of healthy boundaries include:

• not engaging in conversations when they are intoxicated
• not joining them when they will be using alcohol or drugs
• not allowing them into your home when intoxicated
• refusing to provide money, housing, or other material items until they seek professional help

Don’t Judge Or Blame

It’s easy to fall into the “blame game” when dealing with someone in active addiction. Though it’s normal to feel frustrated, remember that drug addiction is a mental health disorder needing medical attention, so you don’t need to blame them or yourself.

Practice Self-Care

Whether or not your loved one is ready to seek treatment, you can still take care of yourself. Give yourself compassion. Attend an Al-Anon or another support group meeting or talk to a therapist or trusted friend. Then, when your loved one is ready to get help, you can be there for them.

Call Spring Hill Today

Call Spring Hill Recovery Center today to learn about our client-centered addiction treatment and family support options.